Monday, 10 August 2009

That Greek God... Part 3

Come Sunday morning and I woke up to the faint whirr of the vacuum cleaner in the next room. I groaned and snuggled further into my pillow trying to catch on to the last fragments of the wonderful dream that I was having. So where was I… Ummm… yeah… I am the new RJ with Radio Mirchi and I’m going on air with RJ Karthik on Mirchi Duet…

“And our first caller is… Hello… Welcome to Mirchi Duet, yaaru pesareenga??"
(May I know who this is??)

“It’s Jahnavi. Hey Anu, I just wanted to check if everything’s okay. Paati is listening to your programme as well. She wanted to speak to you. Just a sec…”

I look around nervously trying to figure out what is going to happen.

“Anu…Naan Paati pesaren. Kekardha?”
(Anu, it’s granny here. Are you able to hear me?)

“Paati??” This can’t be happening to me. OH NO… Noooooooo…

“Seri kelu. Kaarthaale Swami ya vendindu po sonnene, vendindiya? Seri adhu irukattum, saayangaalam nee varache, Bhagyam aathukku poittu va. Kolu kku Bhakshanam panrathukku oru maami irukkalaam. Avaaloda phone number vaangindu va. Bhagyam aathula phone repair aam…” (Okay listen, I told you to pray to God before leaving home in the morning. Did you do that? Leave that. While you come back in the evening, stop by in Bhagyam’s place. It seems there’s an Iyer lady who cooks wonderful sweets and savouries for Navrathri. Get her phone number. Bhagyam’s phone is under repair)

“Paati, naan apram pesaren. Neengo phone vechidungo please.” (Gran, I will talk to you later. Please hang up)

“Apram, unnoda manager kitta solli oru TV camera pakathulla vechikko. Radio Potti lerndhu unnoda koral kekka ennamo maadhri irukku. Technology dhaan valandhuduthey. Unna TV la paarthu, nee pesardhu kekkalaam illiya…?”
(And, one more thing, ask your manager to fix a TV camera next to you. I find it very weird to hear just your voice from a Radio Dabba. Technology’s improved a lot, hasn’t it? I can see you on TV and hear you talk then.)

I’m panic-struck and I turn around to see Karthik laughing his head off. The entire radio station is hooting with laughter around me. I repeatedly punch on the caller-off button and to my chagrin, it refuses to listen to me. I can hear a vacuum cleaner behind me and it is almost swallowing me up…OMG… wait… Help!!

I came around screaming when Appa ran the long lever of the vacuum cleaner right next to my ear.

“Appa! What are you doing? Why are you vacuuming me?” I shrieked, quite shaken and affronted. Come on, I take a shower everyday and am cleaner than the antique vacuum cleaner itself.

“Anything that’s still in bed after 10 AM in the morning requires to be vacuumed. The owner’s manual says so.” Appa replied calmly.

“It’s Sunday!!” I protested.

“Should that make a difference? You seem to sleep-in every day of the week.” And with that, he thrust the lever towards me again and geared me into action.

I grumbled as I got out of bed and made a beeline for the bathroom. Thankfully, by the time I came out, Appa had already completed his impromptu spring-cleaning. The vacuum cleaner, I saw, was back safely on its repositorical pedestal. Jahnavi was watching TV and I flopped down next to her on the couch. An emotional basket case of a girl was bawling her eyes out and explaining her pathetic situation to the rest of the inmates in a repeat episode of Roadies on MTV.

“Is there nothing else on TV today?” I enquired. I wondered how long Anekta Kapoor would wait before roping in the girl for one of her K-serials.

“Nope. It’s Sunday morning. What do you expect?” Jahnavi returned dryly.

Before I could reply, Appa came and sat down next to us. He seemed happy, ecstatic in fact. And then I came to know why.

“It’s India-Australia cricket match today. A day and night one.” he announced, crashing all my hopes of a blissful Sunday. Jahnavi cuffed her forehead in a melodramatic gesture and boy, was I glad that I had my ally back. I knew how the rest of the day was going to be.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“….Sixxx! Superrrr!!” Paati screamed and exchanged an excited post-hit dialogue with Appa.
I woke up startled from my light snooze and looked around feeling slightly disoriented. I could hear Paati chattering away animatedly in the living room.

“…indha Dhoni Paiyyan romba nanna velaiyadrane. Ahaa… Innoru Sixxxx…
(This Dhoni boy is playing so well. Ahaa…one more sixxx..)” Paati yelled and started clapping her hands in pure glee. Jahnavi looked up from her book and rolled her eyes in an exaggerated chic.

“I know. Paati kku whistle mattum thaan innum adikka theriyalai.
(The only thing that gran doesn’t know yet is how to whistle)” I commented wryly.

Jahnavi burst into fits of giggles.
Paati is an anomaly in the complete sense of the word. I hope The Hindu gets notified through this blog that Paati is an ardent worshipper of their newspaper and reads it end to end, including all the supplements in her zealous venture. And I further hope that The Hindu doesn’t get offended the way Appa gets, when he ultimately finds the newspaper as a Pakoda Pottalam in the evening, due to undergoing severe treatment of getting folded in innumerable directions and being tucked in various places as she goes about cooking, reading, walking, sleeping through the day. When the other peers of the realm talk about attending Bhagavad Gita discourses, Paati would want to watch a live cricket match. Paati would probably know more about RmKV and Pothys collection of sarees than the poor weavers themselves.

“You wouldn’t believe it. Paati’s much better than Zoom channel. The other day, she’s like, 'Jahnavi, unnakku theriyuma, indha Kareena Kapoor- Saif Ali Khan kum edho problems aam. Rendu perukkum othu poradhillayaam. Avalukku andha Christian paiyyan dhaan pudichirkkam. Yaaru…aah, John Abraham.'
(Jahnavi, did you know that Kareena and Shahid are having problems in their relationship? It seems, she likes another guy now. That Christian boy… John Abraham)” Jahnavi said, all wide-eyed.

“Kareena and Saif are breaking up? I never knew that” I said, pretty surprised.

“See? I told you. Paati’s a unique piece.” she retorted with a cheeky grin.

We suddenly heard a faint tinkle of laughter from outside the window. We both looked out and our vision zoomed in on the terrace opposite. Karthik was leaning on the parapet wall with his back to us and there was a woman next to him. I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. Who is this girl? And why is she talking to Karthik?

“Enna Anu, unnoda love story la, ippove oru Villi vandhurkka pole irukke. (Anu, looks like you're having a villi in your love story already.)” Jahnavi said mischievously.

“Cha, No way! She might be just a casual friend. Why do you have to take it to the extreme sense?” I snapped vehemently. I was already feeling faintly agitated and Jahnavi’s comment added fuel to fire.

“All I can say is that, he is in the media field. And you have to be careful.” she said, adding an ominous zing to her statement with a knowledgeable look.

“Wait a minute. Do you know something that I don’t?”

The woman next to Karthik chose that moment to laugh loudly. Our attention riveted to her as she turned around and I could see her face clearly. I identified her immediately.

Vichitra Somamurthy, founder of and an artist with an independent theatre group called Sarvam.

Sarvam Vichitra and Mirchi Karthik.... Sarvam and Mirchi… Vichi and Karthik…. Alarm bells clashed and banged in my mind, ricocheting the vibrations in a zillion directions.
I had a horrible feeling of history repeating itself.
OMG… Not again… nooooooo…

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
to be cont...


  1. super paati....hehe....good imagination.... :)

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  3. hmmm paavam de pati... cha sad gal...

  4. hey de serial s awesome... pathu de some serial director might surutify it... apram feel pana dey... who knows i might even act the sister character... not that i want to act in serials... but recession time right... so sab kuch chalega... so right something nice about that gal too...

  5. hey....thats pretty good di..[:)] i like this serial.. [:)] paati reminds me of our paati.. ;)

  6. @Uj: lol... adi paavi... ;-)

    @Kavya: Thanks.. am glad you liked it.. whenever i put up da next post, i'll send you an update.. :-)

  7. I loved reading the post...I cant point out at perticular point where i laughter theres a smile while reading from line 2 to end....

  8. lol.. a really good episode.. liked the way ulinked reality and imagination.. u know.. vichitra.. sarvam.. etc etc.. :D